The saga of Mr. Green Card from the Indian Men, Marriage and the 21st ^&%&* century series...
Ok..this post is truly looooooooooooong overdue... I was supposed to post this way back sometime last year when i first decided to write about Indian men, Marriage and the 21st century. But i guess its better late than never... this guy was the very worst in the string of pathetic losers i spoke to!
You have got to hear about this guy,
Whose parents wouldn’t divulge any detail.
They gave his general description, my my…
But not his phone number, not even his email.
Yet they wanted me to go see him asap,
and called my folks nineteen to a dozen…
How was I supposed to go meet him?
Knowing not who to meet or for that matter when???
Finally, the breakthrough happened,
And I got his number.
I called to chat with him…I was stunned!
For the conversation was a total bummer.
He wanted to meet that very weekend,
And wanted to be married right away.
I was supposed to drop everything I had,
And rush over the very next day.
Didn’t care to know anything about me,
Just wanted to marry and be done with it.
“I am going to get a green card”, says he,
and getting married before his I-485 would be perfect!
The dude says,“Lemme check with my parents and see if they are ok”,
“ok with what??” I question ….
“oh..with u coming to see me”, says he, “I have to see what they say”,
“I couldn’t possibly meet you without their express permission!!!”
I am at a loss for words here,
Wondering what I must say to this creature.
I remain quiet for the fear,
That if I say something it will be nasty for sure.
His parents want me to go meet him,
They call my folks over and over again.
Yet this guy needs to ask them (permission),
For every single thing – again????
“hmm, I have plans and cannot make it this week”,
said I, “it would have to be sometime in the next two”.
There was complete silence…he wouldn’t speak!
A moment later I clarified the upcoming weekend was a long one too.
“my friends have booked their tickets”
and major plans are underway.
“So I am sorry, but I am sure u understand?”
Mentally kicking myself for even saying it, this I say…
“well, actually, it might be ok”
says the guy with a sigh.
“you see it would be best to wait and see
whether I get the approval for my i-485!”
“cuz if I get the approval sometime before
you come to meet me…
then it becomes pointless, therefore
waiting for a week or two will be ok, you see”
Its no wonder I gave him the boot,
Question of meeting him was moot...
Oh wait, the saga isnt over yet, there was one more session…
For his folks wanted to give this whole thing another shot!
They call my dad and say, “Sir, right now your daughter is the only option
Can u ask her if she really wants to go ahead with this or not?”
Option??? Option??? Dude am I some kind of stock u are trading?
am I a piece of furniture?
Don’t u think before u start out saying such things?
God! This is such a torture!!
posted by Aps @ 10:50 AM
4 Comments:
you've handled it real smooth!
i've known guys to be opinionated.... but this one is absolutely to the contrary: a total bummer!
he needs to marry some boom boom cow (poor thing) who's been brought up with flaps over her eyes (like a horse, er... a mare) to look/think only the things that her parents want her to! she'd be a glove in this guy's parents' (since they call the shots) hands! lol
but then, what's life without nitwits crisscrossing every now n then! :)
who knows... soon you can google for a man soon enough! atleast i know it might be a hit among indian parents!!! lol
but there's another perspective on the subject as well: i've ended up having unpleasant conversations with a few dumbo women as well. so guys don't fare well with females all the time either!
-hari
Aps..
although, unfortunately, I will agree that many Indian males tend to behave the way your poem(?) goes...
but still in the interests of saving some "reputation" that I have (being an Indian man myself) and not being stereotyped (ouch! disadvantage of living in a foreign place)..
I always comment that an effort such as yours ( by which I mean the hilarious piece of work that I just read) should come with a disclaimer that there do exist Indian men who are outliers and not fall in the distribution described herein!
Nah! I am just kidding.. but just wanted to say that there are people who exist who might be vastly different than the one you experienced... so give some hope too! Do write about some excellent indian men that you have met.. kindaa like silver lining between black clouds!
Just a thought.. although now I wonder why am I even leaving a comment in the first place!
Cheerio!
Hi Abhi, glad u liked the poem... :) I agree my work is really a negative take on this process & it doesnt help having met only those who are really annoying. But in no way is this reflective of my opinion about men esp indian men in general. rest assured, i dont hold anyone to this kind of opinion until they have given me sufficient cause :)
haha..well written
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