Saturday, July 22, 2006

Oh ho prose!!!

Ok...heres a rant again!!! maybe i should change the name of my blog to Rant-Space or something cheesy like that. :) but getting back to what i wanted to write...

I think theres a whole field of research out there that remains unexplored. It will get classified under the field of Brain Mapping yet i am sure it hasnt been researched the way it should have. As with most interesting research topics, the underlying question is very very simple. "Unreasonableness" - what is it? why are people unreasonable to the point of being pure whackos!

Ofcourse theres a reason that prompts me to ask this question. Of late it looks like i have been running into people (i have known for long) who (I realize now...) have ALWAYS been pure, hypocritical WHACKOS! For some unfathomable reason, which could be put down to my misplaced faith in human higher senses, i had tolerated these specimens all this while.

Recently, a "friend" from a long time ago tried to get in touch. Now this one was always a whacko. But you know how it is..you cut people some slack...understand their flaws etc etc be a friend inspite of overwhelming evidence that they are not only whackos but selfish whackos.

We did high school together, kept in touch right through undergrad, then landed up in the states. She came here on H4 and after 6 months started school. There were no major issues until all this happened... we kept in touch on and off. emails, fone calls, & few fowards here and there. Then out of the blue, the I-am-so-important syndrome started. Now Ms.Whacko always had this big thing for being right ALWAYS. She had extremely irritating ways of screaming, shouting and making a mountain of a molehill. When she got into one of her "fits" like this, i would walk away and try to quiten down the heart palpitations i would get. No mean that and i am proud of myself that i didnt actually land up in a hospital.

The IASIS was an on-off thing back home in India and i was kinda familiar with it. So i never took any notice of it initially. Then it got worse with time. Every time i called I would hear this perfect dialogue:

Me: "Hi... whatsup?"
Whacko: "Hi...you know how busy it gets?"
Me: "Oh nice.. u having fun in school?"
Whacko: " yeah ... i am soo busy with my research and ofcourse M and I have such full schedules... one never gets any time to do anything"
Me: "yeah, i can see that... he is working full time and u go to school full time"
Whacko: "oh..hang on" (full fledged dialogue on the other side while yours truly ptiently waits)"hey aps, this friend of mine has called and i have to go talk to her... talk to u later? give me a call sometime next week ok?"
Me: "oh k...bbye... (she has already hung up!)

A few weeks later, i try again...and leave a voicemail.

Me: "hey babes... hows life? just thght i will call and say hi.. call me when u get a chance"

Another few weeks later, its her marriage anniversary.

Me: "Hey babes, leaving u a voicemail to wish u Happy Marriage Anniversary. Talk to u later"

Whacko calls back(Suprisingly!!!)

Me: " hi..." blah blah...
Whacko: hey thanks for the wishes. Oh what did we do? we had people over for dinner...and amma is here...talk to her"

At this point i have a pleasant conversation with her mom. and then she turns up on the fone.

Whacko: "hi... thanks dee. Oh you know how busy life gets. I have so much to do & just dont have the time do anything else. anyways, listen i have to go .. have stuff to do call me later whenever ok? "

Me: "babes, why dont u call me sometime...when u are free..."

Whacko: "i am not sure if i can do that.. I have tons to do and have a full schedule... u call me dee and we will catch up...ok bye"

Well, after some two years of having the same conversation, I decided that this was one "friend" who was NOT interested in keeping in touch... notice how i never got asked if things were ok at my end? anyways, i decided that it was fine..she has a full schedule...cannot really blame her could i?

Then out of the blue this woman gets hold of my cell number and calls me....

Whacko: " Hey.. whatsup... what doing? where did u go? dropped off the face of the earth. stupid, idiotic creature... didnt it ever occur to u to keep in touch???"

Me: "duh! Whos this?"

Whacko:"u dont remember my voice? whats this ? a poor joke?"

Me: "oh is it....????"

Whacko: " Where the hell are u? How come u never kept in touch? never called or emailed"

Me:"oh no..u were busy remember? everytime i called u had something going on... so i just thgt i should quit bugging u..."

Whacko: (screaming all kinds of expletives & giving me palpitations) "U NEVER CALLED...NEVER KEPT IN TOUCH...U ARE DERANGED...U WERE ALWAYS WHACKO" (now now thats a little tooo much for me to take) WHAT DO U MEAN I WAS BUSY... I AM NEVER TOO BUSY TO KEEP IN TOUCH... i EMAILED ONCE AND U NEVER REPLIED...."

Me: "ONCE?????????? In how many years? and how many times did u call? please stop being unreasonable... "

Whacko: "I AM NOT UNREASONABLE (Oh K...now i am convinced u are not only whacko...but extremely unreasonable as well) U WERE ALWAYS WEIRD. NOW U HAVE LOST IT...."

Me: "oh k... i am going to have to go...sorry i cannot talk to u now (or ever!!!) adios babes"

Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear it took ALL of my upbringing NOT to hang up on her...i would have been justified but I unfortunately believe in "theres no excuse for bad behavior" but still.... the sheer unreasonableness... the mulish insistence that she was right and that i was not only completely wrong but deranged as well... the screaming and shouting... Lord! have mercy!!!

Now that brings me to my original question... What prompts people to be unreasonable? How do they conviniently forget what really happened and have this morphed reality in their heads that they believe to be true? how is it that everytime "They" are right, "reasonable" etc etc while the "other" person is ALWAYS wrong...

Something is wrong...either in their brains processing capabilities or the basic wiring of the circuits... either way... this question and phenomenon can ONLY be answered with extensive research!!!

3 Comments:

Blogger Aps said...

What are you Althia??? Dumb??? or Dumber??? Read through the blog once again and you will realize (maybe) that the basic question is about researching unreasonable behavior and what prompts it and NOT the whacko i wrote about. besides, last time i checked this IS my blogspot and i am welcome to use the word Whacko as many times i possibly like.

8:04 AM  
Blogger Aps said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Aps said...

Thanks for ur suggestions. and again, u seem to have the missed the underlying point... its not about NOT staying in touch or how difficult it is to stay in touch when one is busy.. i did make an allowance for that.

The MOST annoying thing (the underlying driver for writing this blog just incase u miss it this time around as well) is when the other person pretends to be "right" and pretends that they have tried keeping in touch etc...tries to put me down to make their point, that the unreasonableness of it all comes out...

this blog wouldnt have come about, if my former friend aka whacko had simply called and said, "hey...howdy? been ages".. the conversation wd have flowed like there never was a break... That did not happen and i dont have a tolerance for crappy behavior like the one exhibited (no matter who it is) reconciliation ofcourse is not an option.

and yes, its admirable (really) that you say you will fight to stay in touch despite being insulted and screamed at! awesome! u must be a true gandhian!

9:07 AM  

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