Indian Men, Marriage and the 21st century!!! Part 2

Just what is it?
With men, marriage and the 21st century?
Looks like only 2 can exist!
Could it never be all three?

So naturally this comes to say,
That I am so appalled!
That people can be this way,
And that they would have the gall!

They want their sons married,
To the best of the choices (read bride) around.
Who belongs to their caste and creed?
Who is everything they want and will tow their ground?

There is no problem with that is there?
Yes, just a little one.
To no one are those conditions fair,
And certainly it’s no fun!

It is amazing that people will think,
That their kids are so great!
Yet, when it comes to other people their attitudes stink,
As if they do a favor by choosing someone to be their son’s mate.

Just from where does that attitude come?
Why can’t they think normally?
Why would they be to sensitivities numb?
Why couldn’t they just level headed be?

In this day and age,
They want to play it cool.
Drama without the actual stage,
Well, who do they think does that fool?

It is not the problem with just one person or family,
It is a problem with society at large.
For no apparent rhyme or reason you see,
Down the traditions lane they charge.

They might be pretty good otherwise,
They might even be cool in day to day life.
Yet it becomes a game of cat and mice,
When they have to get their “son” a wife.

Take a look at this chap,
Whose parents wouldn’t divulge any detail.
Yet they wanted me to go see him asap,
Lest I should talk to him and opt to bail!

Not that it made any difference,
I did finally give him the boot.
Not only did that make no sense,
It was so funny that it was a complete hoot!

Take a look at the other guy,
Who was lauded so much!
When I spoke to him it was apparent why,
No one would ever want him as such.

Seriously the way his parents carried on,
I thought he was really something, but not quite.
Oh boy, I rued the day he was born,
And wanted him to be so out of sight…

And yet another guy did my parents spot,
Who turned out to be someone known after all!
But really wonder where he’d got,
Those expectations …weird and pretty tall!

He said his mom gave up her career,
And stayed home to bring up the kid.
So in his mind he was pretty clear,
That the only way to raise children was what his mom did.

What irked me the most…?
Was he didn’t voice such ideas before.
He seemed to have a hidden agenda to host,
And was manipulative to the core!

I wonder if it is the boys or the parent,
Who is the one to blame?
Boys are jerks cuz they don’t know any different?
Or because the parents are much the same????

Oh god! Aren’t there any sensible chaps around?
What ever happened to some good ol common sense?
Why is it that all my friends are so cool and so very much on the ground….
Yet these guys I run into… who are looking to be married… so dense!!!

So do they metamorphize into something weird?
When they start to look out?
Do stupid notions get reared?
Or is it just my doubt?

Maybe their chemical composition changes dramatically,
When these social pressures increases!
Maybe that’s why you see,
Their sane minds freeze over!

It is quite funny you know,
When you speak to people and see who they are!
In a way it helps you to personally grow,
And helps boost enough sense to run away afar!

Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much here,
It’s possible there’s nothing like men, marriage and 21st century!
Maybe they will all change & down a different path steer,
No matter what this is the way they all will be!

But oh it still doesn’t change the fact,
That I am still quite appalled!
That people will be so mulish and without tact!
And that they really have such gall!

Why is it difficult for them to know?
That life is all about living!
And that ultimately at the end of the show,
You should feel like happiness you did bring!

Marriage is about sharing so much with a special someone,
It is all about two man team ship…
When two people try to have fun,
And have a meaningful 2 way relationship!

See if your values match,
See if u can enjoy each others company!
See whether quarrels you can patch,
See if u can have laughs very many.

I know it’s tough to evaluate,
When one goes in for marriage.
But the important thing is to state,
What you think and feel instead of trying to correct answers gauge!

So here’s to u guys who want a wife,
Grow up and realize that marriage is a two man team.
First get yourselves a life,
And then start to dream!

Be cool and be normal!
And oh please be sensible!
This more than anything else
Will make u more desirable!

And again!
Just what is it?
With men, marriage and the 21st century?
Looks like only 2 can exist!
Could it never be all three?

Indian Men, Marriage and the 21st century!!!

July 11th 2005:

This is something that comes from the very core of my heart! I need an answer to this important question... Just what is it with Indian Men, Marriage and the 21st century? It feels like either it could be Men and Marriage... or Men and the 21st century! It really is confusing as to why guys with the proper attitude would not want to get married (at least for now!) and the ones who want to get married are such pathetic losers...

I am not an Amazon but neither am I the Sati-Savithri types wanting to tow the husbands line. Looks like I am being asked to be one of the two and feels like there is no middle ground. But what I cannot fathom for the life of me is why there cannot be a middle ground? What is so worng in wanting to have a equal relationship? What is so difficult about forming a team and working together? Why should there be pre-conditions like you should quit working after the kids arrive (for heaven's sake i havent even said yes to u...get a grip on ur senses!!)or you should relocate (i mean seriosuly are u deranged? wouldnt these things figure later on?)...or the best of the best qualifers "i have to check with my folks" ...come on, u want to get married...if u cant make a simple decision as to when u are going to meet a girl on ur own...it is just a question of ensuring your calendars are free...what will u do later on in life???? and why would it be so bad for me to question that?????

Why dont these men understand that the most important thing is actually trying to find out if at all the two people are compatible on a basic level...can the two carry on a conversation? are they willing to lend an ear to each other? are they willing to concede that there are differences in opinion but when it comes down to making a decision the other person is balanced enough to talk to about it? whether or not the basic interest is there in both to make this worthwhile? Do the values they have match?

I mean there is so much to an institution like marriage. Why would anyone try to make it a business proposition? I have had such funny (well, they are funny to me now...at the time i would have given anything to be able to wring the bloddy creatures neck!) experiences which i am sure will continue for sometime now.....

Read on to find out the weird ways in which people's minds work and most importantly how some Indian men react to the phenomenon called Marriage! Ofcourse, needless to say most guys who have read this piece have got back to me asking why I am launching this tirade against men. have i forgotten my dad is a guy as well? well, to all those idiots who cannot understand this simple concept...i am NOT launching a tirade against ALL men folk... merely against those sore losers who think that they have attained moksha because of a simple reassignment of DNA when they were born...in simple english...just because they are men... My dad was and is the one of those wonderful men who chose to support his wife in her decision to work (some 33 years ago when this concept was still fairly new) and till date helps out in the kitchen... So yes, it only makes matters worse when i meet supposedly "21st century" cool dudes who didnt think twice before living a "21st century" life while single...but just want a 6 century BC wife. will not be surprised if these "specimens" want their wife to remain 6th century BC while they lead on their 21 century lives...